ಮುಗಿಯದ ದಾಸ್ಯ, ಅಳಿಯಲು ಅಳುಕುವ ಬೌದ್ಧಿಕ ಅಂಧಕಾರ

ಭಾರತದ ಮೂಲ ಸಂಸ್ಕೃತಿ ಹಾಗೂ ನಾಗರಿಕತೆ ಮೇಲೆ ಶತ-ಸಹಸ್ರಮಾನಗಳ ಹಲ್ಲೆ, ಹೇರಿಕೆ, ನಾಶ, ಲೂಟಿಯ ನಂತರ ಇತ್ತೀಚೆಗಷ್ಟೇ ಸ್ವತಂತ್ರವಾದ ನಮ್ಮ ದೇಶದ ಭವಿಷ್ಯವಾದ ಮಕ್ಕಳ ಪುಸ್ತಕಗಳ ರಚನೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಕಾಣಸಿಗುವ ಮಾನಸಿಕ ದಾಸ್ಯದ ಕುರುಹುಗಳು ನೋಡಿ! ೧೯೯೬ನೇ ಇಸವಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ವಿಶ್ವ ಬಾಂಕ್ ರಾಜಸ್ಥಾನದಲ್ಲಿ ನಡೆಸಿದ ಎರಡು ದಶಕಕ್ಕೂ ಹಳೆಯ ಒಂದು ಸ್ಥಳಾಧ್ಯಯನ ದ್ವಿತೀಯ ಪದವಿ ಪೂರ್ವ ತರಗತಿ ಸಮಾಜಶಾಸ್ತ್ರ ಪಠ್ಯಪುಸ್ತಕದ ಐದನೇ ಅಧ್ಯಾಯ “ಗ್ರಾಮಗಳ ಬದಲಾವಣೆ, ಅಭಿವೃದ್ಧಿ ಮತ್ತು 
ಭಾರತದಲ್ಲಿ ನಗರೀಕರಣ” ಎನ್ನುವ ಒಂದು ಅಧ್ಯಾಯವನ್ನು ತಿದ್ದುವಾಗ ಕಂಡುಬಂದ ಸಾಲುಗಳ ಮುದ ನೀಡಿದ ಸಂಗತಿ!

ಜಾಗತಿಕ ಬ್ಯಾಂಕ್ ಸಾವಿರದ ಒಂಬೈನೂರ ತೊಂಬತ್ತಾರರಲ್ಲಿ ರಾಜಸ್ಥಾನದ ಏಳು ಜಿಲ್ಲೆಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ನಡೆಸಿದ ಕ್ಷೇತ್ರಾಧ್ಯಯನದ ಗ್ರಾಮೀಣ ಕ್ಷೇತ್ರಗಳಲ್ಲಿ 
ಬಡತನಕ್ಕೆ ಕಾರಣಗಳನ್ನು ಈ ಕೆಳಗಿನಂತೆ ಗುರುತಿಸಿದೆ. ಅವುಗಳೆಂದರೆ: 

೧. ಬಡತನ ನಿರ್ಮೂಲನ ಕಾರ್ಯಕ್ರಮಗಳ ಅಸಮರ್ಪಕ ಅನುಷ್ಟಾನ 

೨. ಕೃಷಿಯೇತರ ವೃತ್ತಿಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ಸೀಮಿತ ಜನರು ಪಾಲ್ಗೊಳ್ಳುತ್ತಿರುವುದು.
೩. ನೀರಾವರಿ ಸೌಲಭ್ಯಗಳ ಅಲಭ್ಯತೆ ಮತ್ತು ಕಡಿಮೆ ಮಳೆ ಸುರಿಯುವುದು.

೪. ಪಾರಂಪರಿಕ ವ್ಯವಸಾಯದ ಮೇಲಿನ ಅವಲಂಬನೆ ಮತ್ತು ಸಮರ್ಪಕ ಆಧುನಿಕ ಕೌಶಲ್ಯಗಳ ಕೊರತೆ.

೫. ಕೃಷಿ ಮಾಡಲು ವಿದ್ಯುಚ್ಛಕ್ತಿಯ ಅಲಭ್ಯತೆ 

೬. ಗುಣಮಟ್ಟವಿಲ್ಲದ ಜಾನುವಾರುಗಳ ಸಾಕಾಣಿಕೆ. 

೭. ಅಪೂರ್ಣ ಮತ್ತು ಶೋಷಿತ ಸಾಲದ ಮಾರುಕಟ್ಟೆ ಸಂವಹನ ಸೌಲಭ್ಯಗಳು ಮತ್ತು ಮಾರುಕಟ್ಟೆಗಳು. ಸಾಲ 
ಸೌಲಭ್ಯದ ಕೊರತೆ ಮಾರುಕಟ್ಟೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಆಗುವ ಶೋಷಣೆ ಮತ್ತು ಸಾರಿಗೆ-ಸಂಪರ್ಕದ ಕೊರತೆ. 

೮. ಗುಣ ಮಟ್ಟದ ಶಿಕ್ಷಣದ ಕೊರತೆ.
೯. ಸಮುದಾಯ ನಾಯಕತ್ವದ ಕೊರತೆ.
೧೦. ಅಭಿವೃದ್ಧಿ ಚಟುವಟಿಕೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಮಹಿಳಾ ಸಹಕಾರದ ಕೊರತೆ ಮತ್ತು ಯೋಜಿತ ಕಾರ್ಯಕ್ರಮದಲ್ಲಿ ಅವರ 
ಮಹಿಳೆಯರ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ತಾತ್ಸಾರದ ದೃಷ್ಠಿ.

೧೧. ಅಂತರ್ ಜಾತಿ ಸಂಘರ್ಷಗಳು ಮತ್ತು ಪ್ರತಿಸ್ಪರ್ಧೆಗಳು 

೧೨. ವಿವಾಹ, ತಿಥಿ, ಮುಂಜಿ, ಹಬ್ಬ, ಹರಿದಿನ ಮುಂತಾದ ಅನುತ್ಪಾದಕ ಕಾರ್ಯಗಳಿಗೆ ದುಂದು ವೆಚ್ಚ ಮಾಡುವುದು. 


ಖಂಡಿತ ಮದುವೆ, ಮುಂಜಿ, ತಿಥಿ ಹಬ್ಬ ಹರಿದಿನ ಮಾಡಿಕೊಳ್ಳಬೇಡಿ! ಸ್ವಾನುಭವ - ಮದುವೆ ಒಂದನ್ನು ಬಿಟ್ಟು! ಹಾಗೆ ಕುಡಿದು ತೇಲಾಡೋ ನಮ್ಮ ಹಳ್ಳಿಯ ಗಂಡಸರು ಈ ಸಮಸ್ಯೆ ಪಟ್ಟಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಬಹುಶಃ ತಪ್ಪಿಸಿಕೊಂಡಿರುವುದಕ್ಕೆ ಕಾರಣ ಅಧ್ಯಯನ ತಂಡ ಬಂದಾಗ ಅವ್ರು ಬಾರ್ ಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ತಣ್ಣಗಾಗಿದ್ರು ಅನ್ನಿಸುತ್ತೆ. ಅಥವಾ ಆ ವಿಶ್ವ ಬ್ಯಾಂಕ್ ತಂಡ ಕೂಡ ಅವರೊಟ್ಟಿಗೆ ಸೇರಿ ಎಣ್ಣೆ ಹಾಕಿಕೊಂಡು ಸುಮ್ಮನಾಗಿರಬೇಕು. ಅನಿವಾಸಿ ಭಾರತೀಯರೊಬ್ಬರು (ನನ್ನ ಪೂರ್ವಾರ್ಜಿತ ಕರ್ಮ!) ಇಲ್ಲಿ ಲೀಡ್ಸ್ ನಲ್ಲಿ ಭಾರತದ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ವಿವರಿಸುತ್ತಾ “ನಮ್ಮಲ್ಲಿ ಗುಂಡು ಹಾಕುವಾಗ cheers ಎನ್ನುವುದು ಹಿಂದಿನಿಂದ ಬಂದ ಸಂಪ್ರದಾಯ ಅಂದಾಗ ಜೀವನದಲ್ಲೀ ಕುಡಿಯದ ನನಗೆ ಕಿಕ್ಕು ಅಂದ್ರೆ ಏನು ಅಂತ ತಿಳಿದ ಸುದಿನ! ನಮ್ಮಲ್ಲಿ ಕುಡಿತ ಇಲ್ಲ ಅಂತ ಅಲ್ಲ, ಆಂಗ್ಲರು ಬಿಟ್ಟು ಹೋದ ತಂಗಳು ಇನ್ನೂ ನಮ್ಮ ದೇಶದ ಸಾಮೂಹಿಕ ತಿಳುವಳಿಕೆಗೆ ತಂಗಳು ಪೆಟ್ಟಿಗೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಶಾಶ್ವತವಾಗಿ ಉಳಿದುಕೊಂಡಿದೆ. ಅದೇ ಹಳಸಲು ಆಮದು ಹೆಂಡವನ್ನೇ ನಾವು ಆಹಾರ ಅಂದುಕೊಂಡು ೭೦ ವರ್ಷಗಳ ಕಾಲ ನಮ್ಮ ಜನಾಂಗಕ್ಕೆ ಉಣಬಡಿಸಿದ್ದೇವೆ! ಆ ಕುಡಿತದ ಅಮಲಿನಲ್ಲಿರುವ ನಮ್ಮ ದೇಶದ ತೇಲಾಡುವ ಸತ್ಪ್ರಜೆಗಳ ಹೆಂಡದ ಲೋಟಗಳಿಂದ ಚಿಮ್ಮಿದ ಒಂದೆರಡು ಹೆಂಡದ ಹುಳಿ ಹನಿಗಳ ರುಚಿ ನೋಡಿ!

Reviving the dead blog

It has been years I wrote and today when I sort of looked back, I observed that I have been quite conserved and mostly conscious about how the readers will perceive what I write. Of the few things I have written about, if I read them back again, I get a mixture of feeling that includes a repulsion, naivety, a smile at how my thoughts has evolved, and how irrelevant some of the thoughts have become at this stage and most importantly an open question of why did I even write it!

I used to share it with my friends, get their help in correcting language and I was judiciously waiting for comments and responses on those posts. Obviously the attention hogger in me like one of my dear friends sums it up was seeking some pampering. But in some ways I was conscious about those throughout. And if I look at it now, I feel I have that guts to face that naivety in me. This is thanks to all my friends and all the things in life I have faced and continue to live through.

So here I look at and revisit the question of why do I even write. Of the many things I used to write, I think the only genuine thought that vented out was about painting. For painting evolved in me thought this period as a way of expression. A way of re-invention - a tool to understand my imperfections. 

As much I try, I cannot dissect out the buffering and nurturing my teachers and friends have done for the painter in me. It is again their pure love and nothing to do with how good a painter I am.

Again for the thought of being a 'good painter', the devil of comparison and ego creeps in. So there as well I am seeking some sort of gratification and attention. Looking back at the way I look at both blogging and painting, I have been doing the latter through this gap in blogging and I must confess the painter in me has changed; don’t even want to call it evolved as I don’t know where that journey will lead towards.

I started writing this particular piece to revive my blog and also to streamline the topics I write on. I am compelled more so today than before that I should write about painting side of my thoughts, as they are the only things I feel are worth recording. About 2 years back when I met my teacher who is such a selfless artist and a true teacher, I realize he has lost that enthusiasm in him to paint budging to all the adversities he faced in his life. He was looking at me as a sort of future and I am as nervous as I am right now (and I will ever be) that I should perceive painting fulltime. I am not going to write the targets he gave me and those many several lessons in painting he gave over this period whenever I visited him. This saps my courage further as I hardly get time to paint. This is an excuse and for if anyone wants to do anything, they will find time. That points to the lethargy and a heap load of hesitation in me that is stopping me in trying to tough the canvas. 

That reminds me, I have sort of fallen in love and settled for oil on canvas as medium. I have my expression kit that includes the best of oils available in India, the brushes and canvases. That said, if I am asked to show the paintings I have completed, I hardly have a couple of them. There is a whole set of paintings that I started off but never finished for I realized I started painting in such mindsets to pour them down on the canvas then but soon came out of it or got distracted. Owing to this, those many unfinished paintings are something I am conservative about and I hardly show it to anyone. Exhibition sort of again brings it down to gratification that I feel is not a very pure form of expression I am trying to keep painting as. 

So what do I paint! Landscapes? Portraits? Abstract? I really don’t know! I have just dabbled in a couple of these forms and due to a visual limitation, I am held back and withdrawn every time I try to finish a painting. Some of my friends know about it and I don’t want to talk about it. I have also made my mind to settle these hesitations in me and come out. My teacher and a lot of resources on the Internet have helped me come out of it and I am almost ready to come out. I think I want to write about those thoughts that simmer in my mind even after I got distracted. That again points me to a couple of interesting things I did with painting and art this year. So before I go on, I think I did try and break the silence! I am going to post this! 

Here are my two little friends who have been giving me company since over two weeks here at Anantapur! The trip ends tomorrow and I hopefully write soon!

Meeting old friends - time travel!

A very meticulous work day but what an end! Left my mind turning back some ten year old pages of my life. If i look back from those times and see the course it is shocking and surprising at the same time. I least imagined i could stand where i do. To me it was just a basic hunger of trying to get some place in the herd, the as-usual. To earn and live like the rest. I never imagined i could live my dreams. I could get to work on ground and be part of the change which then sounded crazy to all. My closest of friends used to laugh at my thought of wanting to work for farmers.

Today, thanks to one of my friends from my graduation times form Sahyadri Science College, i mustered enough courage to venture into her son's birth day party. Yes! I do have a strange aversion from crowd but i yielded for two reasons: One, i have lot of my old friends on Facebook but they hardly are there! Here was one invite from a friend i was not in touch since years. She took my number and called me to invite for the party. Second, it feels great to re-cherish those old days. So here i reached the venue almost at 7:30 in the evening. Trust me i had to call two of my friends to muster courage to enter into a over crowded party hall.

Though the party was not as i thought, i met my friend and she pointed me to three of my other friends. It was a pleasant shocking surprise. I least expected any known faces except her but here i get three more!

Now these three friends just adored me (so i felt - happy that way). I hardly used to speak during those college days but i guess the very fact that they have seen me through my days growing, was nostalgic enough and pleasurable.

We had a little round of ubhayakushalopari. The best part i liked was these three had not changed. They kept clapping and encouraging kids who were dancing - exactly the way i had recorded them in my memories. I never imagined meeting these not so close friends could be so cordial and special. We had food together. Got a typical group snap captured and we all said bye for now and walked in different directions.

Life is so strange and full of surprises. Meeting them gave me almost a hallucination of the past. Of those days of struggle. Where everything was tough and risky. I am thankful i could live my dreams. To be able to contribute to those 'ambitious' speeches i used to blabber.

I almost felt like crying but wait! I had not slept well since weeks and another hectic week ahead! I had to keep my spirits up! And the day ended with kisses from my little princess after a show down from her mother teaching behaviour! Among all things, this little angle was not even born back then - today she is my life!

We had our share of 'happiness', lets take up 'responsibility'!

I warn you before getting into this note that this is a very direct personal account of what is running in my mind!

Yes! No negative thoughts and no silky - all is well talks! It’s our Independence Day! The 67th one! While I sit in the bus on the way to one of our experimental sites where the situation is not so good, I wrote this down.

I woke up quite early today in spite of being tired and feeling a bit annoyed. It is my third Independence Day in a row missing the celebrations being at work. The latter part makes it more meaningful and convincing to me.

Sitting in the bus, I just started typing this and a poor woman comes to me with a yellow chit asking for help. I am not going to explain what the content was as I know we have all seen such things. But with a sigh, I am forced to think are we this huge country called India known for its riches both in the past and present? I somehow cannot muster courage to do small help. I myself feel humiliated for what I cannot do. The lady who gave the chit took it away. Getting down the bus, she picked the chits which were thrown away by someone. Felt extremely sad and bad. But wait a minute! Is this not the same country where rich get to buy those luxuries and comforts which they don't deserve or seeping through enormous wealth this country has? My own hair cut costs me more than 10 day wages for a laborer.

I recalled talking to an auto driver when he asked me how money I had to spend for my studies to be able to work at IISc. I told him it costed me less than 15,000 INR to complete my masters. Of course these are physical amounts and ignore a lot more default expenses. To him that was a simple amount. He was getting his daughter to kindergarten and he had to shell out some 40,000 INR as donation! Isn't that surprising! How could I refuse to give him "hattu rupaayi extra!" (Ten rupees extra on metered charge). I am not talking about why the cost of basic education has gone up! I am worried just about why are we not convinced that the performance of our kids is not a function of how costly and fancy the schools are but what quality education and conditioning or morale we give them. Don't we all know great visionaries, thinkers, scientists and achievers never started off from fancy schools!

We already see a generation of software employees cursing their job of the monotony and raging wars about brands, performances, assessments and curse the auto-walas to vent their frustrations for their misbehavior! Has that auto guy not chosen a path of earning his bread with dignity and hard work? But are we not aware of larger pressures and distress on earth than our assessments and hikes!?! We are waiting for extended holidays but the peasant farmer is waiting to get some decent labour to earn his daily food. I am glad that I am not writing this sitting in an air-conditioned room but in a bus sitting next to one of those latter whom I am writing about.

What do I do? Why am I giving speeches here! I am just expressing my mind, exercising one of the rights our Constitutions give us! We often use it to speak non-sense but I am using it to voice our flaws and of course responsibilities. I do know what best I am doing. This is a very common question of defense most of us pose once confronted with these kind of thoughts! But just look around what we see.

I see acceptance in farmers and rejection in learned people!
I see endurance in a labourer and impatience in a professional!
I see resources being looted,
I also see little hands paint together!
I see educated cursing poor,
I also see group of kids seriously moved looking at our poverty!
I see celebrities,
I also see a group of farmers taking a train to Delhi to protest against genetically modified crops
I see ladies going to parlours and gossiping,
I also see stronger ones who take more responsibility and go out to work in the remotest of locations!
I see moisturizers and
I also see tanned hands!
I see pickaxe and spade,
I also see mobiles and tablets!
I see odd perfume ads,
I see women getting raped!
I see souldiers laying their life and teachers worrying away,
I also see corporators and politicians loot away!

Yes! I see a lot of contrast but I see more hope in those little hands who can take this all to better situation. Who can change from bit to a lot of the above equation! I don't take excuses in saying that this generation is not doing it! We owe this country the times we have spent being what we are!

We have the responsibility to do our bit - cast out vote, pay our taxes, do our jobs sincerely and have a clear vision of what we are up to! We have done enough of growing family trees and have accumulated enough garbage! In the form of our insecurities, inhibitions, biases and divides! I see myself gelling super good with strangest of friends across all our divides and borders! Being kids we are naturally bestowed the art of bonding. But till we grow, we get conditioned to hate, we are taught to see the divide and taught to see in pockets. This did not happen overnight! More than 400 years of non existence to 67 years of identity and existence! It is surprising that just within two to three generations we have grown completely cold akin to people we ruled us 67 years back!

We allow our egos to clash and forget that we are a lot beyond 'you' and 'me'! We are not just a country but we are a time bomb to explode! Yes! We can use this potential to make history! We can use our strengths and skills to make this a better place! Let us not just wail on what is not right! Get your hands dirty! Come down and work! Make the change you want to!

Be free - our martyrs did not sacrifice to see this country diseased! Do not post any comments if you find offence in anything I said! We have crores of them all over the country! Get yourself instead in making things better! Use that frustration to fuel smallest of the things which one can change in day to day life!

What we lack is motivation and not resources! We have our granaries full, unlike the situation 70 years back.

Of course, we are not yet seeing what we have done to our soils, water and forests! We will be soon confronted with that! Don’t think it is sudden but it is going to derail everything we have as luxuries. It is time, now and never late to be responsible. To respect our resources not just by our worship but also by doing our bit to conserve our resources for our sustainable futures.

We need to break the innumerable borders and walls within us, between us and with the world!

Wish you all a "responsible" Independence day!

The story of 'the thief'

I warn its a little autobiographical!

April 2009

A new person was person was born..
on a new media...

I can never forget that day..
when i with one of my best friend went on to search for Bhaskar Art store at Avenue Road.
The new media which i was about to begin my new journey with was oil and canvas.

Technology and scientific advances had made all requirements and complexities in the process simple.

This reduced my anxiety and fears by its first level.

And this day when i am writing this, i am out of that fear and i have made a really good friend with my media.

Yes. There was a fear... anxiety and probably a responsibility...

I always had a tough time with everything which comes new. Its actually good for me as it toughens me. And when it come to art.. the sketching, painting, collage, models and what not, any form of visual art, its a huge responsibility. specially when you are conscious about your audience and your reactions.

I remember those school days when i had to qualify among our friends to attend inter-school drawing competitions. This particular thing, to my close and old friends will strike a chord. I don't see such support and encouragement for visual art anywhere else (with what little places i saw or know about). probably that stimulated in me both the encouragement and anxiety for my output.

Imagine a drawing competition for school kids. [Am sure people will now imaging Ishan! but this was my childhood]. the organizers would get us drawing papers and some times some snacks and we are given a limited time. Once the countdown starts, you will all sorts of expressions anxieties, joy, hesitation and a huge consortium of feelings crawling in. Usually there would be a topic on which we have to paint/draw. Now i know the idea behind the sketch was the first thing which will strike the judges. Half an hour past, you will find kids peeping around for what the other competitors are up to. Believe me this is not unhealthy. this is what i meant anxiety. representing the school, for a kid - i assure you he will be more serious than a olympic player representing our country. I am not questioning their (Athletes) motivation. What i find more strong in those kids would be the motivation and zeal to win in any case. That magical feeling probably started accumulating fire in me and so i started making my skills better which i first learnt from my mother.

My School: Durgigudi government higher primary school, Shimoga

Our school (Primary and Middle) was a moderate grade. Your remember, there used to be a small layer and stratification between best and lesser schools, especially so with respect to the kids. And my school was a government school.

It was really during the middle school when i started getting prizes for drawing competitions. And the next day morning assembly, our headmaster used to announce the news and the whole school would clap. This till date brings tears in my eyes. Friends, those were the best days of my life. that applause, smiles of the front row friends and the special smile and warmth i got from my class mates and close friends. This was a boon.

I never missed my mother standing in some corner to witness all these.

That was the weight behind all that.. the drawing.. the media.. the simplest quality of paint i could afford thanks to my mother and the peer pressure. I now want to relive those days.. it was weaker but definitely sweetest.

All these happened just for the little skills i owe to my mother.

Next was highschool...

Saraswati at our DVS School Sculpted by by my teachers HPS and others

My days at Desheeya Vidhya Shaala. Transformation of my personality and enrichment happened here.

And my real formal training in art started here..

C S Garag (CSG)
H Prabhakar Shetty (HPS)

My only two formal drawing teachers..

I learnt everything possible, sketching, designing, modeling, painting, composition and what not. There used to be a small old room outside the main school building which was studio for these two artists. it was a dull / dark room but glowing with the reflections of Saraswati.

A small room flooded with paints, canvas, pencil, papers, boards photos, models, masks. that was a real Saraswati studio of visual art. Music teacher Late Shri HRP and another teacher used to join them in their daily art aaradhana.

HPS Sir was more into modeling and detailed art. The inspiration to my skills in technical drawing and attention towards the details is through his works. His life, which my friends of DVS knows, is true a brave one. Hatsoff to his art and his strengths.

With my teacher, CSG

I am more influenced by CSG Sir. He was the one who was always with oil and canvas in his studio. DVS have the many priceless portraits thanks to his continuous interest. He (and ofcourse HPS Sir) used to always appreciate and improve my work. He s a fantastic style with water paint and he is the first and till date only oil-paint artist i interacted.

I am heavily influenced by his style of painting.

The DVS team! we used to sweep prizes, drawing, quiz, debate or anything - this team was the best!
With Vikram, Vinay and Vivek

After three years of rigorous Saraswati aaradhana, i was into pre university in the same college.

My Biology laboratory record was a model for other friends and its still there in the college for students to refer. I gained my identity with that as some of my teachers remember me for my lab record book. 'EXCELLENT' was the word written on my second year PU My laboratory record book by one of my favourite teachers. I hold it always as a feeling of pride and satisfaction.

During degree and post graduation, i parallelly worked on a series of private work which gave my art a full fledged professional platform. I cannot mention the details of it as i had to finally sell each of my drawing for a cheap price which anybody would laugh. I was also instructed not to use or own any of those sketches - soft or hard.

This happened couple of years back. there were some 200 plus detailed and perfect technical sketches taken from me as a material commodity.

only my mother knows the worth of time and effort each dot, each line of those sketches.

I will miss those sketches always.

Sahyadri college days marked the days of my best sketches which i don't have any more

This was a serious emotional set back for me; personally as well as for the artist in me.

It was around that time, i happened to visit my drawing teachers.

They, probably are the most hurt people after my mother for what happened for all those sketches. I was meeting them after almost a decade. they remembered my sketches, my work, my skills every minutest thing. For me those moments were very heavy and reinforcing. both of them were happy with me growing in my career. but both were worried that their art student is not doing anything. Both said start painting again. CSG Sir said start with oil and canvas.

I met him next day - a Saturday. when he was done with his classes. He taught me the fundamentals of the media. what it is, how to use, what to use, basic dos and don'ts, and where i should start with.

I was flattered and heavy when he wanted to do my portrait and asked for my photograph.

What more a student want?

So here i was like the cells deprived of energy and nutrients, suddenly fortified with nutrients and electric shock [Remember Ian Wilmut experiment!].

In front of Natural History Museum, London

I should confess the visit to London national gallery and Liverpool art museum fortified my spirit and the beauty of art. Also helping me to come out of the shock with my best sketches.
I spent days at the gallery trying to capture every painting, every stroke, every colour and every minutest thing it could give me.

Given a choice, i would love to spend my life in the gallery with oil and canvas.
I spent full length days, i was never tired although the cold and my depleting energies due to temperate climate was not helping me in any ways.

But i was driven by an unknown force, to fill my senses with all the art which i could capture...

I would definitely remember those days as one of the best days of my life.

And one fine day of April 2009, I was with my friend searching my fortune, my heart and my aspirations.

An artist was re-conceived...

The past one year of my life with 'the thief'

This particular one was an easy choice for the easy look it has. The original was from J Glisson 2009 painting. it had a mysterious look and a strange feel of attraction.

When i started, i was not familiar with the texture and consistency of oil on the canvas board. sketching took no time and i started painting them in patches.

The first attempt - first coat completed one looked like this.

This one was although very crude. friends liked it a lot.
this of course costed a lot of smudges, corrections, dirtying my hands/cloths with oil and what not! the difficult part was to wait till it dries as the details were quite stark application of contrasting shades.

I actually gave some 20 hours for her (the thief!) in all. But it got increasingly difficult with changing situations of my life and increasing professional commitments.

She had to wait for me for quite long.

As if i was interacting with a person, a girl, i used to sense the vibes of rejection or anger.

the dust, the smudge correction took a lot of effort.

Finally when i was cleaning my stuff, i noticed the bill which i kept safely that it was almost getting one year since i started touching her!

My conscious knocked me. If i am to like for the next couple of decades, would i just do some tens of paintings? I started my interactions with her again recently finished giving the final strokes.

The trickiest part was her eyes. the only part which will give the language and expression to this partial face.

Constant appreciation by friends in the form of the orkut album photos of the evolving painting was a real booster.

One of my friends asked me, is she your dream girl? i definitely said yes. The girl of my dreams as a painter...

Here she is .. the dream girl.. my first dream come true...



Dedicated to my mother, my teachers and all my friends.
In her eyes lies a lot of emotions and feelings and so does my hands when they touched her...
the first emotional representation of my life...

'The thief'
April 2010

Namma Bengaluru!

Least qualified, illiterates, school dropouts, degree holders [in braces], religious leaders [former human traffickers and criminals!], rowdies, and local cheapsters – you are the future of our country!



There could have been many other occasions which can stimulate discussion and anger when we talk about our politics. But this although is a very minor incident which will fade away in no time, never the less this reflected the true attitude of our political system and just shows there is an urgent need for action and a BIG CHANGE.

This happened today at the Padmanabhanagar. Bengaluru is busy and heated for more than one reason. The public are busy in two major things: First the IPL and then themselves!

And our able [!] local [truly local] politicians are busy with BBMP elections.

Elections have never been seen as a time for developmental change but always as peak time for dirty politics involving money, liquor, religion, hatred and lot more which are not worth talking about.

BBMP elections are no exceptions. Amidst the maddening crowd, these politicians roam around like beggars yearning for power. Almost all of them are from criminal background and you will hardly find an educated candidate. The only true agenda of any party is to come to power and nothing else.

Developments do happen and have been happening. But it has never been to its fullest extent.
Bengaluru is the first city in the country to get electricity thanks to unmatched visionaries such as Sir M Vishweshwaraiah. Bengaluru has everything from highest technological development and resources to best education, research and is the home for many of the best brains in the world.

Most importantly Bengaluru has served everyone who came to its door looking for employment. People from almost every part of country have been settling in Bengaluru. Bengaluru is definitely a place for people who want to earn a decent livelihood and more.
I don’t feel there is any other place in India which has so much diversity and yet, being calm silent and subtle. The whole of India can be represented in Bengaluru.

BBMP elections serve as a crucial point for deciding the fate of the development and not just the fate of contesting candidates or parties.

I am not here to promote “go vote” mantra which is everywhere in the air.

Nor am I telling not to vote.

One incident which made me think and I am sure any decent person of Bengaluru would worry about is what happened in a library! Rather what happened to it!

I know the word library would sound archaic in the light of exploding developments in communication technology where everything is available with a mouse click.
But never the less, libraries still represents and would represent a place to read, study and improve oneself. The beauty of the feeling of reading a book can never be matched with anything.

We may get almost everything we may think of in ‘soft’. But it is also a fact that an exponentially huge amount of knowledge including history, literature, basic science and lot more are still in ‘hard’ form.

Now the point is not a discussion with soft or hard. It’s about library and I am sure a decent amount of sensible people wouldn’t contradict the utility of library and that they represent a reading place, a place for gaining knowledge.

Some dramatic incidents happened at Padmanabhanagar and lead to conflict between two parties which are of course very common. It’s almost like stray dogs quarrel - let them pay themselves. But this time it was heart breaking.

The target of the stray dogs this time was unfortunately a library. A library was set to fire and books were burnt. The ill fated library carries the name of the finest visionaries of the whole world – Kuvempu.

Friends, this is clear enough indication that this country is not getting any better with these illiterate politicians. India needs better people. We have best brain in all sectors and why not in administration? Why not in development? Why a well read, well qualified person cannot take charge of the progress of the country? Why the hell he/she has to wait for an illiterate person who is holding a ministry which he never understood?

A small kid joining kindergarten, have to clear an interview before it gets a seat. Why not the top position in this country the toughest to tower and has been left as a job for the least qualified people for whom the first qualification starts from their name entered in the local police station under goonda list?

A major state party president recently was very vocal that he is very ok with criminals being given his party tickets for contesting in the elections and his target is just to win.
This is I guess should be clear:

Least qualified, illiterates [very unlikely that they will ever read this!], school dropouts, degree holders [in braces], religious leaders [former human traffickers and criminals again!], rowdies, and local cheapsters – you are the future of our country! Our system is made just for you! You can make multifold money than the qualified professionals in any field for that matter! You have so many roles to play, from booth capturing to fake votes, to distributing holy water [liquor], distributing saries, what not. You can be instant super hit famous public figure and your past criminal records, hardly any of the well qualified people will ever think of remembering. They are too busy!

Well qualified responsible citizens, stay back home, suffer and keep blaming system and politicians and if you are free, go vote for least criminal amongst the others! Don’t even think of going there! In any case what we need is our salary, our family and prime time news blaming the political drama! Let the libraries burn! Let the capacity and knowledge be wasted!

This poor song tries to put in some very interesting facts which nobody cares about. Just introspect that a country of this caliber is ruled by illiterates.

Just math mathalli (baton batonme..)

A bright Sunday morning. A bright morning and I have completed the quota of the weeks pending sleep and I am fully relaxed. Also kind of free since recently completed a major work and I am in a really relaxed mood.

Had found a theatre close by, almost equally placed between home and office. So here I drive directly to the theatre quite in time, got the ticket of balcony and the ticket collector let me inside for a memorable two and a half hour. Let me navigate your thoughts a little bit. Memorable not just for the movie, but for what I got to watch or experience in addition to the movie! Probably the latter which forced me to write this blog! Now please don’t get ideas about what I am intending to write! I was sitting in the front second row and just next to the central stairs. So I am not aware of what happened backseat! Sorry to disappoint you!

And it is not the movie alone and it’s not the movie review. Being from Shimoga, Sudeep is like our guy. Raghu Dixit music and some good camera work. Just enough for me to be entertained. Of course the movie was good with quite different treatment totally. For Kiccha fans and Raghu Dixit fans, it’s a must watch. [I hope Sudeep will reading this and will pay me some remuneration for doing publicity for his movie!]. That’s the end of what I am going to say about the movie.

Now let’s come to the topic!

So imagine a movie which you want to watch...

This is from one of your favourite director and music director...

Movie turns out to be different and interesting...

Some good work at the camera department...

AND!


Some unknown person sitting next to you is watching the movie for the second time!

This is going to be a really irritating affair if you like the movie and unfortunately it happened!

The script and the storyline had a good suspense factor to keep the attention. Probably that was the storytelling method which the director wanted to experiment with. But it was almost a disaster to me thanks to the guy next seat!

Every curious moment he couldn’t control telling his friend what will happen or break the suspense streak! I did try to ignore but when it got really unbearable, I requested him ‘not to tell the story’ which he politely agreed confirming he was actually purposeful in what he was doing!

Take an example!

The protagonist gets angry with the heroin for some reason and here our hero back seat shouts “mukhak ondu kodu guru!” meaning slap on her face! It’s interesting to note that the so called good components gets ignored or get diluted by some silly timely joke by some body-less person and when it gets violent, bad, cruel, the crowd starts rejoicing the same.

I am not talking about the multiplex audience as I found it too mechanical. May what happen, people will almost sit as dead and watch! I sometime feel are they really interested in the movie! That’s another extreme of being too polite and suppressing all the feelings.
The one I experienced is more a single screen stuff. Take for example, if there is some obscene scene or reference, you can get the maximum applause and shouts! Last year I remember watching probably the most unbearable movie which was so called the modern day bold version of classic Devdas. I guess the best part which made it a hit was its boldness, slang obscenity or whatever people want to call it! I know these will sound too traditional to the ‘modern’ generation.

I started writing about what I experienced today in the theatre which is probably an expression of the mobs response and feed backs of what they cannot do in the real life and in daylight. May be that’s what makes a movie what it is for them!

I recently had a chat with one of my very good seniors and friend, where he mentioned he had to pick up fight with the audience when he stood up for the National anthem which was part of the movie. I admire his sensibilities and feelings. By the movie was AB and SK starer KJ direction movie about loving our parents!

It also creates a slight discomfort in heart for the kind of audience coming to theatres these days. Gone are the days when movies such as ‘Do aankhe barah haath’ ‘Purab aur paschim’ and ‘Prahaar’. I have not seen those days. But I can comfortably feel the respects for those works in that generation.



We do have movies such as ‘Rang de basanti’, ‘Swades’ and others. But are we really watching them to understand the true sensibilities of the message?

Any ways, it’s just a time pass stuff isn’t it? Moral stories and values are just for the kids to study in their kindergarten!

Is this the same land?

Is this the same country where just a call from a petite weak leader led to complete non-cooperation in the entire country, where just two words “Vande mataram” used to inflict fire in the hearts and a valour to sacrifice life...

Are we living the dignity?

Call it heights of being emotional or being archaic. It is most likely that the so called modern , self centered current citizens of the country are just obsessed with themselves and their selfishness. The developments in the past few weeks made me think this way. And its not a feeling which came out of blue moon or just in my mind. Knock the conscious, any true Indian would get these discomforts in their hearts.

Here we struggle among ourselves. Amongst our colleagues, our neighbours, our friends, and this list goes one. We dont have a single thing which we can hold on with pride. But yes, our so called gen-next chaps would argue we have IPL, we have MNC, shopping malls and what not. But talk about the soldiers, who guard our borders, who were slain, or about our own tradition, you are either looked upon as an idiot or eccentric emotional fool or be labelled as a fundamentalist. I know the word 'tradition' means different to different people ironically!

Now why am I writing these stuff now?! Honestly I don't know. But may be to put down some question in my mind which are bothering me oflate.

It has been over 60 years this country was established and it has seen enough of radical changes till now. I am talking more about the line of thinking in the minds of common man [and woman]. Is this the same country where just a call from MK Gandhi used to impulse a country wide movement, where even the teenagers and less than that used to fill their hearts with unmatched bravery and sacrifice their lives for the 'cause'. We are forgetting that there was no country or a boundary or a system so to say which we have now and we proudly [are we?] call India. It was just a movement against injustice, unmatched in the history of the earth.

The same country where a mother, sister, wife used to sacrifice their son, brother and husband for the cause which they are not guaranteed of success! Isn't this something too much of a strong traditional background our country has for what citizens and their selfish attitude we have now? Are we worth that dignity? Are we capable enough and have we earned that? The answer probably is unfortunately 'No'.

Today a former prime minister of the country uses such words about his contemporary that if i write those words here in the blog, I am most likely to be spammed and may be blocked! Is this the same lineage of people who used to follow up with their leaders, have a decent relation with people of different thoughts about achieving the same goal - the freedom, yet differ in their approaches. I don't want to write incidents supporting this because i feel if a person don't know about these facts about our own tradition, its not worth telling them!

Our politicians stay at resorts and five stars to discuss the problems of our farmers! the same country where people and the leaders used to walk together miles to protest and fight for their rights. May what come, they were ready for the worst consequences. Today we have on the flashing news headlines that a bollywood heroin/hero got a small bruise while bravely shooting for a movie! Hats off to the so called cultural development we have made!

We have lost our soul so much that, amidst the live telecast of a funeral of an eminent person we get advertisements of new year parties, luxury cars, perfumes and aphrodisiacs. May what come, the press should do its duty and dig out news from any scraps. Check out Sunday news papers and any decent person cannot read it in front of their parents [now there will be an argument about being mature, modern and open!] leave apart the photos of hardly covered models.

We are in such a pathetic cultural situation that if a boy says any good words about his another friend, it is most likely that there will be a funny moment about gay relationships. Remember this is the land of same Ram-Lakshman.

If i ask myself, what great realization or reform i am about to make by writing these things? The answer is 'nothing'. We can't do anything to people who are already a part of it. Who have lost their independent thinking and their ethnicity in the name of being modern or global! Take a look into our Vedas, and just our contemporary Kannada literature by Kuvempu and loads of other eminent souls, we are probably the first to think global and yet have a local perspctive.

This reminds me of a emotionally charged incident which happened at the Red fort, New Delhi. No, don't confuse it for any terror attack or any communal riots! I was there for the first time with a friend to see Red fort and there was a painting exhibition - of freedom fighters. Call it my contemporary / modern negligence, I just walked into the exhibition hall without reading what was it about - the details.

The hall was scanty with very less people interested! There were about 50 or more [vaguely] paintings of freedom fighters and their biographical life stories depicted. The paintings were a little different as all of them were in shades of red and dull. I felt what i usually feel when I encounter any past incident, painting, literature about those unmatched glorious days of India.

When I came out, I read this board outside the exhibition.

[Now the people who cannot read the National language! go to ****!]

I can never explain the state of my mind. The maximum I did was collected from the person sitting in the corner of the exhibition, with some books on lives of the Freedom Fighters the details of the people who did these paintings. As told early, there were no takers for those books. And anywhere we go we can find books from all around the world with some stupidly simple manipulation of what our traditional values teach us! No offenses meant but it feels foolish on our parts to hunt for such personality development books of some western influenced authors or writing styles when we inherit one of the most ancient, tested, accepted and proved as one of the best! May be the reason is we have become unworthy for the best things and we can only digest the remnants of what the west copied from us!

The person at the bookstall asked me to look at the shop for a while as he had some work inside the exhibition hall and I did the same. I was completely emotional sitting in that sepia dusky evening with all those paintings giving me my most heavy state of heart.

I was contented that there is still, at least at some corner the genuine respect for our own tradition. I am sure there are many more left. This blog is for them. Just a small and emotional move to reflect we feel the same.

Hatsoff to the artiste and the writer who painted the brave sons of India with their blood.

शहीद चित्र -प्रदर्शनी
परिकल्पना, शोध एवं संकलन :
रविन्चंद्र गुप्ता

011-20539308

011-27023145

चित्रकार , प्रबंधन एवं आयोजन
गुरुदर्शन सिंह बिन्कल
09968315135

प्रस्तुति:शहीद-स्मृति चेतना समिति (पंजी.)
३२, शिवालिक अपार्टमेन्ट , सरस्वती विहार, दिल्ली -३४

I did capture some of them once I settled my mind but my hands couldn't stabilize while clicking..

The supernatural! (Tale?!)

December 32d 2009. Indeed a special day which I will always remember. This day made me wonder, surprised, happy, shocked and what not! All in just a single day and yet so much to sink in...

Cut!

Whenever I want to write something, it always happens to me that I build a structure in my mind and till it transcends to a document, there will be least time and sometime I just end up writing parts of bits of what I intended to write.


Here is one such bit!

I was traveling to Delhi for the first time and with Sir (Prof NHR). I always like to spend time with him. I had never gone beyond Northern Andhra Pradesh (now may be Telangana?!) Although it’s a different thing that I had been to northern parts of Northern hemisphere a couple of times! It was never as emotional for me as to visit places in India. One might say it’s an archaic feeling in the contemporary thinking to get more attached to places close to our origin, I can definitely say in every heart at least in some corner everybody will agree to this. Janani janma bhoomishcha swargaadapi gariyasi. And further being born in the oldest and the most flourished civilizations [I feel and am sure most will agree] it’s an intense feeling.

It was a two hour flight. I was sitting between Sir and another senior colleague. So I was at my best decency! Had to work on the presentation that I finished quickly. Had a look at the magazines and here comes my favourite rice with rajma (a representation of South and North India I would say!). Had tea and I was pretty relaxed. Scanned through few TV channels and finally found the live camera of the flight more interesting. In any case I was, for the first time flying across India.

It’s a fantastic experience to see something similar to a live Google earth! The lifelines - rivers, the hilly ranges, the villages and the forests. I could see croplands with a central settlement as almost a common phenomenon. And most importantly there were no boundaries! I could see the ecosystems as they are linked – without boundaries. It was like scanning the toposheets minus boundaries! Most surprising was the central Indian range of forests. I was quite surprised and happy to learn that it is still intact [at least it looked so from the top!]
I was tired. Before I could doze the flight was about to land. Here I am in Delhi airport.



Another surprise was waiting for me, in fact two!

One of my friends came to receive me at the airport! Again a first time! I am a little less talker rather a wired person to talk with! So before we could have a few words, we were hunting for the correct taxi. Imagine a filmy situation now. There was a verbal battle between taxi walas for who should take the customer first! In a filmy style my friend said “Yeh hai dilli”. As if this was not enough, I was a little numb. I don’t know the reason. May be because I was tired. I could sense the dense traffic and the dusty atmosphere. My friend said, don’t you find Delhi green? I haven’t seen Delhi enough but could feel it’s very dusty and dull than what I expected. May be because its winter and there was a recent smog there.
We reached the place where our accommodation was arranged and walked towards the gtz office which was close by. We had to prepare for the next day workshop. I couldn’t sense, but the day was passing. The minor things like the presentation and the summary report was ready and Sir was kind enough to set me free as he had a conference call to attend which might take time. Did a little walk around in Sarojini nagar market. I don’t know how significant this place is but the main point was it was nearby.



I could now feel the dusk falling with its chilling cold.

Returned back to the guesthouse and relaxed for a while. The building was colder than outside. Thanks to my UK experience, the first thing I did was to locate the room heater and set it on.

Started scanning the TV channels.

Now you call it, exaggeration, filmy, fiction or whatever. It was an unbelievable shock for me.

A report on a news channel just informed me that today exactly 25 year back, the Bhopal tragedy happened. During the flight, the time I spent looking through the live camera was almost across BhopoI . a live map helped me recognize places. I was busy before that and after that I almost slept. Now the question as to why I was looking at the live camera when I was flying across Bhopal is something I can never answer.